QUOTE
Better that Bigfoot doesn't exist
Matthew Claxton, Langley Advance - Friday, January 02, 2009
I wish sasquatches were real.
Imagine the tourism potential of a bunch of eight- to nine-foot-tall hairy hominids wandering around the province.
Hordes of tourists would pile off planes and cruise ships every summer, determined to snap a picture of the beasts nibbling on cedar bark. Rest stops would sell little plush sasquatches, footprint casts, and clumps of hair. A CD of sasquatch mating cries would be the perfect stocking stuffer for the relative who's grown tired of whale songs.
Sadly, the sasquatch is not real. It does not exist. There never was, and never will be, a non-human hairy ape that roams the wilds of British Columbia. Except for the last time Robin Williams was filming a movie up here.
The main reason I know that sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, does not exist?
No one has ever found one. Not a live one, not a dead one. No smelly pelts, no missing teeth, not even a scrap of fur. The suspected sasquatch hair found a few years back turned out to be bison hair, when tested.
We're not talking about a new species of burrowing rodent, here. These are supposed to be one of the largest animals in the province, about the size of a bear, if not bigger. You'd think they'd stand out.
There are several million people in B.C. And a lot of them spend a lot of time hunting, fishing, hiking, and bird-watching in wilderness areas.
Despite the large number of people out in the wilderness, despite the long history of settlement and exploration, and despite the total lack of a bigfoot corpse, some people still believe.
Check out the Internet, and there are dozens of web pages devoted to either proving that bigfoot exists, or to gathering evidence. So you can spend hours reading account after account of some guy driving along a logging road, who saw something big and hairy sprint out in front of his car and back into the bush. This type of encounter, with or without photos or film, can best be described as furry and blurry.
Then there are tracks galore, found in mud, sand, and gravel. You can read about people who heard haunting "vocalizations." A significant number of these seem to take place near Agassiz and Chilliwack, which suggests that there are some rogue yodellers up there.
I have no idea why people believe in the bigfoot well into adulthood. If I personally saw a big, hair-covered animal darting around in the woods... well, the first thing I'd do is run the other way. But after that, I'd assume it was a bear and I was a little confused about what I saw. Failing that, I'd assume it was a guy in a gorilla suit having some fun with me. Both are well-known phenomena, and a lot more likely than an undiscovered humanoid.
The sad truth is, we're encroaching ever further into wilderness areas every year.
If sasquatches really existed, they'd probably fill an ecological niche similar to that held by bears. Which means we'd probably see a lot more of them.
They'd be down in the rural garbage dumps, and picking through the trash outside Whistler Village. They would be regularly trapped by Conservation Service officers and relocated after wandering into downtown Maple Ridge. There'd be a few cute baby ones in wild animal shelters, after their mothers had been run over by 18-wheelers. Some idiots would raise them as pets, or shoot them to make into aphrodisiacs.
Frankly, it's just too sad and sorry a lot for a noble, imaginary animal. It's far better that the poor things remain fictional. They'd be in trouble in reality.
mclaxton@langleyadvance.com
Matthew Claxton, Langley Advance - Friday, January 02, 2009
I wish sasquatches were real.
Imagine the tourism potential of a bunch of eight- to nine-foot-tall hairy hominids wandering around the province.
Hordes of tourists would pile off planes and cruise ships every summer, determined to snap a picture of the beasts nibbling on cedar bark. Rest stops would sell little plush sasquatches, footprint casts, and clumps of hair. A CD of sasquatch mating cries would be the perfect stocking stuffer for the relative who's grown tired of whale songs.
Sadly, the sasquatch is not real. It does not exist. There never was, and never will be, a non-human hairy ape that roams the wilds of British Columbia. Except for the last time Robin Williams was filming a movie up here.
The main reason I know that sasquatch, aka Bigfoot, does not exist?
No one has ever found one. Not a live one, not a dead one. No smelly pelts, no missing teeth, not even a scrap of fur. The suspected sasquatch hair found a few years back turned out to be bison hair, when tested.
We're not talking about a new species of burrowing rodent, here. These are supposed to be one of the largest animals in the province, about the size of a bear, if not bigger. You'd think they'd stand out.
There are several million people in B.C. And a lot of them spend a lot of time hunting, fishing, hiking, and bird-watching in wilderness areas.
Despite the large number of people out in the wilderness, despite the long history of settlement and exploration, and despite the total lack of a bigfoot corpse, some people still believe.
Check out the Internet, and there are dozens of web pages devoted to either proving that bigfoot exists, or to gathering evidence. So you can spend hours reading account after account of some guy driving along a logging road, who saw something big and hairy sprint out in front of his car and back into the bush. This type of encounter, with or without photos or film, can best be described as furry and blurry.
Then there are tracks galore, found in mud, sand, and gravel. You can read about people who heard haunting "vocalizations." A significant number of these seem to take place near Agassiz and Chilliwack, which suggests that there are some rogue yodellers up there.
I have no idea why people believe in the bigfoot well into adulthood. If I personally saw a big, hair-covered animal darting around in the woods... well, the first thing I'd do is run the other way. But after that, I'd assume it was a bear and I was a little confused about what I saw. Failing that, I'd assume it was a guy in a gorilla suit having some fun with me. Both are well-known phenomena, and a lot more likely than an undiscovered humanoid.
The sad truth is, we're encroaching ever further into wilderness areas every year.
If sasquatches really existed, they'd probably fill an ecological niche similar to that held by bears. Which means we'd probably see a lot more of them.
They'd be down in the rural garbage dumps, and picking through the trash outside Whistler Village. They would be regularly trapped by Conservation Service officers and relocated after wandering into downtown Maple Ridge. There'd be a few cute baby ones in wild animal shelters, after their mothers had been run over by 18-wheelers. Some idiots would raise them as pets, or shoot them to make into aphrodisiacs.
Frankly, it's just too sad and sorry a lot for a noble, imaginary animal. It's far better that the poor things remain fictional. They'd be in trouble in reality.
mclaxton@langleyadvance.com
thanks bill
