Ok, you're out driving around in the boonies at night, when you spot something laying along side the road. You stop, get out of your vehicle,
and realize that it's a bigfoot. No heartbeat, no pulse, dead. For the sake of the task at hand, let's say it's a young male/female; not a fully grown male. You manage to get it into the trunk of your vehicle or bed of your pickup and immediately head for home.

Now, what do you do?

* Shoot some photos or video for documentation?
* Who do you contact first....second....third?
* Is it really your property in the state, locale, or provice where you live?
* Is property 9/10ths of the law where you live?
* Can it be confiscated from you by natural resources police, state or
federal government?
* Should you get a GOOD lawyer (probably as elusive as the bigfoot
itself)?
* Where are you going to keep it to temporarily preserve it? Morgue?
Morturary? Chest freezer?
* Are you interested in the scientific or monetary rewards of your
discovery? Perhaps both? Sasquatchus Biptosus (Sorry Bibto, but it
does have a nice latin ring to it...) and $$$$???

Let's hear your plan of attack. What would you do and how would you do it?

Easy. Head to Sam's for a case of bar-b-que sauce and about 300lbs. of charcoal.

Seriously? And I've already managed to get the bugger loaded in the back of my Blazer? Well...

• contact key personnel in the BFRO
• take an excessive amount of photographs and have them developed and stored in different locations
• take several samples (hair, skin, blood, stool) and store them in sets in different locations
• contact all three local TV stations, all radio stations and the local newspaper and have them meet with me AT THE SAME TIME for filming
• once they break the news, offer the specimen to the most accredited university that is recommended
• have my agent set up my booking schedule for upcoming appearances

or something really close to that scenario.

That's pretty much my idea- head straight for the Indianapolis Zoo or the Field Museum in Chicago!

-Sarge

Hmm. You're right, it does have a nice ring...

• take an excessive amount of photographs and have them developed and stored in different locations
• take two samples (one hand & one foot) freeze and store them in different locations
• contact Dr. Jeff Meldrum, Dr. Henner Fahrenbach & Dr. John Bindernagel
• once they break the news, offer the specimen (minus one hand & one foot) to Idaho State University.
• have my telephone disconnected and take an extended vacation in the Philippines.

Or you could always go with Squatchopithecus Browni.

I like it... take down the Pumpkin King label immediately!

I'd just call Fish knowing that it would be one heckuva bbq sauce.
Or something similar to what you all are planning.
Freezing is nice especially if they stink half as bad as reported

* Shoot some photos or video for documentation?
Take out the digital and snap away- definitely. I would take possession of the carcass.

* Who do you contact first....second....third?
Good question. Here in Canada I would probably try and contact John Green or Dr. Bindernagel- show the photos. They could certainly come and see the dead animal- I'm pretty sure they'd be keen.

* Is it really your property in the state, locale, or provice where you live?
I don't believe there is federal or provincial legislation regarding possessing dead sasquatch in Canada.

* Can it be confiscated from you by natural resources police, state or federal government?
Probably. But if the forest cops took my sasquatch I would be very pissed. But the hundreds of photos that i took would be mine and copyrighted to me.

* Should you get a GOOD lawyer (probably as elusive as the bigfoot itself)? If I called a barrister and solicitors office and told them the government stole my sasquatch i don't think I'd be hearing back from them too soon.

* Where are you going to keep it to temporarily preserve it? Morgue? Morturary? Chest freezer?
Probably worth investing in a giant fridge at this point.

* Are you interested in the scientific or monetary rewards of your discovery? Perhaps both? Sasquatchus Biptosus (Sorry Bibto, but it does have a nice latin ring to it...) and $$$$???

i wouldn't be opposed to either of these.

As i finished writing the above I just turned the channel on my TV- and harry and the hendersons is on. He is poking the body with his rifle. I'm not kidding.. that is a VERY weird coincidence.

The one question that would probably consume me more than anything else before I made a decision is: "What is the general public going to do with this information?"

I wouldn't be surprised if a national media event triggered an outdoor exodus that would make the goldrush look like a girlscout day hike (no offense to girlscouts!). Areas of known sightings could be overrun by thrill seekers and adventurers (many of them armed) scouring the hills and forests to try and see/get a sasquatch of their own. So my initial concern would be whether or not an actual sasquatch body may ultimately lead to extinction of the species, in relatively short time.

So, if I were to turn a sasquatch body over to science I'd probably hope it was done without initial fanfare so that there might be a chance to establish federal regulations that would at least protect them from trophy seekers.

But then again, I could also see the thrill of the moment taking over and doing exactly what I'd want to do - calling the media and science community, contacting the BFRO, taking samples, etc. etc! I'll let you know my final decision when it actually happens!

Unless a DNR officer happend to be watching from a tree at the spot of the roadkill....the gov. would be the last ones contacted!
Long before I told them, I would have contacted the media, and the local scientific community(likely, would go with whomever I could get from both U of M and MSU to come take a peek).
Photo(film, not digital) and video galore.
hair and blood samples, and either a foot or hand..kept in a safe, hidden place "just in case" plans go awry, and the body dissappears..

Hi Nightwing,
Do you really think that the MIB or whatever would steal a Sasquatch body?

I agree.

Like in "On the Trail of Bigfoot" (I think) where a Dr. Poirer (sp?) says "the question is not whether or not he exists, but whether or not if you find one you should tell anyone. Because if there's one thing we humans are good at, it's destroying what we discover." (or something like that).

Properly setup photos....
put the subject in a pink tutu or a clown outfit
stick a can of beer in his hand
a doobie in his lips
sunglasses on his head
and empty Dominos box in his lap
a copy of PlayGorilla on his chest
an "I rode the Bull" ball cap on his head
and a big sh*t eatin grin

about two rolls i think would do

:bump:

Interesting find Shaman, have you got yourself a certain squatch in mind?

lol, naw, just decided to bump one of the many "what if" threads from way back.

1) Take several rolls of film, along with digital pics and video.

2) Purchase large freezer and freeze it in any position it happens to land in.

3) Call radio stations to start getting the word out but still remain anonomous.

4) Convince TV station that its for real and they should come and take some video for the news.

5) meet TV crew on desloate road, have license plate covered. Let them take all the video they want, but no video of me.

6) wait for footage to air on TV and go national news.

7) list it on ebay!

8) retire!

Think I'd just drop it off at the local university.

Prop him up by a tree, Duck tape a Can of Coke to his paw and take a pic and video of it. $$$$

With my luck, it's the one prankster bigfoot that will leap up after I touch it, scrae the crap out of me, rip my arm off and beat me over the head with it while chasing me back to my vehicle and then toss the arm at me for kicks while I am shitting myself to get the hell out of there.

Eat it...


< Me chewing and savoring the mesquite grilled gamey goodness of Bigfoot flesh...

I've posted this before, on one of the other threads on this topic, but here goes again:

If I found a body, here’s what I’d do with a BF’s head: Place it in a bird cage mounted on a 6-foot-high stand. (Similar to what Tweety-Bird resides in, in the Tweety & Sylvester cartoons.) Cover it with a night-cloth to which a string is attached. Go to an obnoxiously outspoken skeptical academic, during his office hours, and set the cage up outside his door. Grasp the string, unfold a lawn chair, aim a video camera on a tripod at it, and prepare to shoot the most hilarious footage ever recorded.
=============

BTW, Counselor had one of the best serious answers to this question, on another thread: he said to contact a lawyer and get him to do X, Y, and Z. And again in a serious vein, I mentioned in another thread like this that Fahrenbach, whose e-mail I provided, has an arrangement with the walk-in refrigerator people at a scientific inst. in Oregon to accept a carcass.

1) Take photos and video from every angle and distance.

2) Take measurements of every part of the creature.

3) Take hair and flesh DNA samples.

4) Make 10 copies of the video and photos and put them in safe deposit boxes all over the country.

5) Privately call the most reputable and trustworthy scientists and anthropologists in the field.

6) Have TOP SECRET tests done to authenticate a new species.

7) Then have a media blitz to raise as many millions as possible and use the money to pass legislation and protect the habitats and welfare of the species.

8) Raise additional funds to begin identifying and studying the various species around the North America and across the world for their protection and welfare.

9) Create specialized and protected wildlife habitats of 20 square miles or more each for these creatures to live and thrive.

10) Work on increasing the population levels for preservation from extinction.

11) Write books of the subject to educate future generations.

David Thomas King
NESRA

Not that I'm putting money on You (or anyone for that matter) finding a Bigfoot anytime soon, but if You're going to take DNA samples, Your best bet would be to pull it's teeth...

The pulp seems to be a grand place to extract DNA, so all of the geneticists are saying these days...

Document everything in at least triplicate on with photos and video. Haul creature to my property (assuming it wasn't found there). Find out discreetly who the most trustworthy people in the bigfoot field are in the greater Portland Metro area and contact them. After everything has been documented and a couple actual scientific types have seen this thing and examined it, then I would call the media.

Man......all of you guys talking about univerities, scientists and anthropologists are simply talking about giving away an opportunity. They'll contact the authorites and have Bigfoot confiscated from you the SAME DAY. Not to mention extracting, a tooth from bigfoot sounds like a big risk in itself. Neither would I amputate a limb and give it to a scientist as that would kill it and get me questioned by the law. I simply videotape the being and contact a zoo and THEN contact the local news crew to expose the secret. Contacting a news crew with the reaon or a anynomous reason is risky. So they would be surprised. I would make up something interesting. However, prior to this I would check for the highest bidder. Testing them hypothetically. Myself, I would antee up the price in exchange for it being a zoo exhibit. I don't think the government would be against a Bigfoot the way they would be with an alien but I still would minimize the risk.

Tough choice: The American Museum, Village Voice, or the CIA.

They show Harry and the Hendersons quite often and every so often I may watch it. Cute movie!

Head to Sam's Club for the mongo bottles of bar-b-que sauce!!

I'm not so hungry anymore.

I can't blame you, JVD. I forgot to add I'd have to pick up about 700 lbs. of Kingsford charcoal too while I was there.

Well, in my case I'd just drop it off at the university and go home. Let them deal with the media circus and the ensuing headaches. I'd value peace and quiet over the bedlam of trying to make a profit from it.

Every question has been answered already but I have some advise for you. About your question "Can it be confiscated from you by natural resources police, state or federal government?" Yes it will, theres is no doubt that it would be confiscated. Most definitely by the government, by the FBI or I dont that much about what the CIA or the NSA and what they like but I know once the word gets out there. I know for sure one of those will get there hands on the sasquatch. Just be prepared.

I'd be packing my bags , buying some dry ice , and heading west. No phone calls , no emails , nothing!

I'd be taking it to one person. I want this person to be the first to see it. I would take my advice on what to do next from this person. The look on this persons face when seeing this creature for the first time would be priceless!

Who is this person?

I would borrow money to get it shipped out of the country to somewhere where I could auction it without it being seized. I would have to make a pre-arranged deal with the government of that country to give them the bulk of the profit so that I could be protected from military forces showing up in the middle of the night to confiscate the evidence. So it would have to be a smaller, poorer country that I could trust somewhat.

After all, any county would be crazy not to confiscate it to see whether it was a human. And the likelihood of you getting it back if they determined it was not would be about the same odds as you finding a dead sasquatch in the first place.

John Green?

I may be wrong, but if I were going to operate in your scenario that's who I'd be taking it to.

As a general rule, a chest freezer would be way, way too cold to preserve a dead body. I mean, it'll keep it from rotting, yes, but freezing a body causes irreversible damage. This could be a problem if you want to do any scientific research on it. In this case, I think scientific research is a must. You'd want to keep a body in the neighborhood of 35° to 39° degrees F. In my profession, I deal with dead bodies and morgues on a regular basis, so I've come to know these things... in case anybody was wondering! :willies:

Thanks for the info! And I'm glad to know that's your profession and not a hobby.