Tall, dark, hairy, shy, likes music... Options

[tugboatwa]

http://www.towncrier.com/stories/story.1.20090702.html

Tall, dark, hairy, shy, likes music

By Marshall Smith
Staff Reporter


David Jerome is obsessed. He has beast on the mind. Idyllbeast, to be precise. He is hoping that the reported 98th-annual Idyllbeast Festival, to be held at Café Aroma from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, July 4, may lure the curious, but famously shy, hairy, apelike bipedal hominoid to the bistro environs. More to the point, he is hoping the holiday music and wafting garlic aromas prove irresistible to a creature that hikers have reported smells of garlic and cinnamon, and has been heard doing a mean Aretha Franklin imitation — or so they claim, Jerome said.

Jerome said backcountry hikers occasionally report encounters with things they can’t explain. Of course, Jerome acknowledges, that is also true in town, but that’s a different story. Jerome recounts that Hill Native Americans have a long oral history recounting a Bigfoot-like creature in the high San Jacintos. To local tribes, said Jerome, the 7- to 9-foot-tall ape/man creature was just another spirit brother who liked to join in at any tribal ceremony that featured dancing.

Tribal lore recounts the creature kept to himself and seldom entered the settlement except when ceremonial drums and chanting started. Then the beast came running, or more precisely, loping, in a characteristic gait shared with cousins Bigfoot (native in more northerly U.S. latitudes) and Yeti (found usually in the Himalayas). The beast reportedly never spoke or chanted, but native tradition recounts he was an enthusiastic dancer and was always welcomed by his hosts.

When whites started settling the mountain, the beast retreated. Whites reported being frightened by the beast and tried to drive him away when sighted. That is not to say the beast was not curious about these new folk. Once TV become ubiquitous, Hill residents started reporting hairy faces at their windows, transfixed by the TV. Curiously, sightings were more frequent when certain types of music were being televised — Motown, and especially anything by the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin.

Jerome thinks Idyllbeast, as locals have named it, wants to be welcomed into modern settlements just as he was by Native Americans. “Music is a universal language,” said Jerome. “The beast just wants to be loved, and it may think music is the way in.”

Although not verified at press time, Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, “American Idol” judges, reportedly plan an Idyllwild trip to tape the best of the beast. If the beast has vocal chops as good as they’ve heard, it could wind up being featured in a special “American Idyllbeast” segment. Producers think a beast appearance could shake up the aging series and add some extra zip.

Jerome hasn’t seen the beast, but he has seen its footprints. “Very large,” said Jerome. A sighting of beast footprints just in front of the Café bolsters Jerome’s hopes of luring the beast to Café Aroma on the Fourth. Jerome thinks the old William Congreve adage, “Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast,” morphed into “Soothe the savage beast” for a reason. “The beast likes music,” said Jerome. “Why wouldn’t he?” Idyllbeast cousin Bigfoot is known for “strong vocalizations,” according to a report of a Montana sighting by Andrea Lutz, KPAX, Missoula.

Jerome, himself a musician, is growing more hair in order to make the beast feel less out of place if he shows up. “I’m letting my beard grow for it,” he said enthusiastically. “We’re also awarding fur crowns to attending women who represent the furry flower of Idyllwild femininity.” Jerome is hoping that the more hair in evidence at the beastacle, the less the beast will feel different, out of place and unwelcome.

Festival planners Jerome and Frank Ferro, Aroma’s manager, plan events throughout the day — a contest for Little Miss Idybeast, Miss Teen Beast, Miss Diva Beast and Grandma Beast. Organizers plan music, other beast contests — such as Beast Calling, Best Beast Look-alike and Bride of Idyllbeast — and a symposium and essay contest on “What the Idyllbeast would say [or sing] to us.” There is no word yet on special beast entrees.

Beast festivals are an Idyllwild staple dating back in Town Crier records to 1948, according to Jerome’s questionable records. In the 1970s, the Crier reported a dustup between some young hairy Community Youth Council (CYC) festival participants and some outraged Chamber of Commerce members who objected to the hairy and barefoot appearance of the youth. According to the Crier report, two Chamber members approached a CYC booth and demanded to know who was in charge and to clear out “these scroungy people” immediately. The Chamber duo and the youth exchanged words, resulting in the Chamber representatives yelling, “Hey you weirdoes, drop dead!” at the longhaired youth. Apparently the Chamber members did not get the “hairy is in” memo that went out with the festival announcement. Idyllwild. Controversy. You know how it is.

Hopefully no such controversy will spoil the beast festival at Aroma. Attendees should keep eyes open for a beast cameo. Should he appear, the first indication might be an odor of garlic and cinnamon or a distinctly otherworldly rendition of “R-E-S-P-E-C-T.”

“It’s time for welcoming Idyllbeast,” said Jerome. Sure he or, as Jerome puts it, “Heidibeast” might be different from us, but deep down we and the beast share more than separates us — a love of music and garlic, both staples at Aroma.

For further Idyllbeast festival information, contact Café Aroma at 659-5212 or e-mail David Jerome at idyllbeastresearchcenter@yahoo.com.
Editor’s note: Just as with Bigfoot, Yeti and the Loch Ness Monster, beast lore is both fascinating and not necessarily factual.

Marshall Smith can be reached at marshall@towncrier.com,

[billgreen2005big...]

hey researchers this is a realy interesting new article indeed

[ibrc]

I was happy to see you posted this. You talk to a reporter and then hardly recognize what comes out in print!

[Night Stalker]

Beast festivals are an Idyllwild staple dating back in Town Crier records to 1948, according to Jerome’s questionable records. In the 1970s, the Crier reported a dustup between some young hairy Community Youth Council (CYC) festival participants and some outraged Chamber of Commerce members who objected to the hairy and barefoot appearance of the youth. According to the Crier report, two Chamber members approached a CYC booth and demanded to know who was in charge and to clear out “these scroungy people” immediately. The Chamber duo and the youth exchanged words, resulting in the Chamber representatives yelling, “Hey you weirdoes, drop dead!” at the longhaired youth. Apparently the Chamber members did not get the “hairy is in” memo that went out with the festival announcement. Idyllwild. Controversy. You know how it is.

Rubbish. That was the LSD talking. Who in their right mind is going to believe that anywhere near 1948 let alone 1970, there were hairy naked dancing BF youths at some beast festival. Not even in a renaissance festival where the woman don't share their armpits. "hey you weirdos drop dead"

What did they yell at the werewolf festival participants?


.

[ibrc]

Like I said, once the media gets a hold of something it gets hard to recognize...nothing in Marshall's article or the original article being discussed mentions "hairy dancing naked BF youths" (sic). To be charitable, the "hey wierdos, drop dead!" quote, not directly attributed to a Chamber of Commerce member but an illustrative paraphrase in the original article, was transformed in the recent story. Even responsible journalists sometimes feel compelled to embroider material. We can imagine them thinking: "he didn't actually say this, but it sounds so much better as a direct quote." All extremely instructive.. The lesson here is that even intelligent people are bound to err when they argue about material they have not seen but base their discussion on re-reporting. (I will soon post the original article, titled "beast hassle" at: www. idyllbeast.com/beasthassle.jpg)
Until next time may the Beast be with You!
DJ

[bipedalist]

.....where the woman don't share their armpits.

Man any festival where the women don't share their armpits is OK with me, N-S!

This post has been edited by bipedalist: Jul 13 2009, 05:16 PM

[ibrc]

The article discussed above, "beast hassle," is available at beast hassle
Just a little dust up at a community event, misunderstanding between the hirsute and the clean shaved.

[Grazhopprr]

Do the hirsute share their armpits too?